it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
