the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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