Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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