Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
