Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize