I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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