You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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