WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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