i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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