Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
