If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
