So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
