just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
