I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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