if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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