They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We smell like vodka and hangover
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