is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
