THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
