Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just high enough for therapy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
