If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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