Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
