I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We named our party play list daddy issues
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
