We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
