Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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