I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
