i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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