Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
