Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
