Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
