yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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