well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
