Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I am available for nakedness
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize