at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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