I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
