This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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