But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
