Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
