Can Purell be used as lube?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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