There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize