Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
