even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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