I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
