covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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