***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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