i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
3 2 1 whiskey
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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