He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
