i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize