Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
