You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
