Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
