It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I skipped work to stalk him.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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