Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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