you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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