Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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