Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
