woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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