he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize