Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
