we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
