i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
