I wanna passion pit in your ass
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
