Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
