Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
