this just has baby written all over it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
