Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
