Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
