ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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