if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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