bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
