I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
