normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
